


friends with (tax) benefits

by BisKitty



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Academia™, Attempted Murder, Dysfunctional Family, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Tax Fraud, but you can't have belifaa without at least a little crime, honestly this is really fluffy especially for belifaa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 10:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27969320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BisKitty/pseuds/BisKitty
Summary: "C’mon Cili, what’s a little tax fraud between friends?”Belial has a proposal, in both senses of the word
Relationships: Belial/Lucilius (Granblue Fantasy)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	friends with (tax) benefits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GStK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GStK/gifts).



> happy holidays, grey! i hope you enjoy!
> 
> you asked for: happy wedding au and faa struggling with feelings
> 
> (the ATAC-seq line is not at all inspired by my own experiences with bioinformaticians)

Lucilius tends to prefer drinking off thursday lab meetings in the privacy and comfort of his own home. (If he has to sit through Paracelsus mumbling his way through his ill thought out ATAC-seq plans one more time-)

Belial had texted him just as Lucilius had discovered both his liquor cupboard and stipend account were empty. 

And so Lucilius finds himself, starched and stiff as his white collar, next to Belial, a finger hooked in Lucilius’ belt loops. 

The man in question had eyes that were constantly sizing you up like a snake looking for its next meal- and his rose-covered shirt had been undone just so that you get just enough of a glimpse of his pectorals to- Lucilius was not checking him out. He was merely performing an impartial observation for information gathering purposes. 

“Gotta say, cutting off your big daddy has been working out in my favor.”

Lucilius weighs the effort of dumping his gin and tonic on Belial and going back to stare at his dissertation for about 5 hours against the easy inertia of turning his ears off as he finishes his drinks… to then stare at his dissertation for 4 hours instead. 

Belial hasn’t stopped chortling. “The look on his face when you told him where to stuff it really was priceless. Next time you need another family holiday ruined, all you need to do is ask.”

Lucilius’ glass rings when he smacks it back down on the counter. “I assume you’d still want me to buy you dinner for it.”

“Angel, the experience more than paid for itself. Besides, I know you don’t have the old bastard’’s money to fritter away anymore. You’d think with the $3 billion they spent on the new building, they’d spend some on your stipend”

Lucilius scoffs. “And put less money in the hands of the dean?”

“Fair enough.” Belial throws his hands up in a fake surrender. 

The alcohol burns nicely on its way down, as Lucilius attempts to stare a hole into the bar counter. 

“Besides, I had a proposal of sorts,” Belial manages a snicker, “for you to consider.” 

“No.”

“C’mon, Cili. Just hear me out-” 

“Absolutely not.”

“It involves money and it’d piss off your former family even more.”

Lucilius glances sideways at him. 

“Let’s get hitched” 

Lucilius fingers tighten around the glass and- 

“If we get married, we can file taxes jointly for a lower rate, and get higher deductions- putting more money in your pockets, and you can live the high life of having a postdoc sugar daddy with a slightly higher wage than your stipend. Plus- we don’t even have to have a proper wedding, I can just send holiday cards to the family. Dig in the knife that you’re still living in sin with the guy who ruined Thanksgiving.” 

“The point of living in sin is to ensure couples are married when they co-habitate. And we are not living together if I am to divorce you once I have my doctorate in hand.” 

“Details, details. C’mon Cili, what’s a little tax fraud between friends?”

Lucilius swallows down more alcohol as he considers- It’s a temporary measure to ensure he doesn’t have to go crawling back to Bahamut and his own idiot brother and his cushy industry job, going on about how he’d have the perfect position at his company all lined up for Lucilius- He’d rather be found mummified in his apartment, hunched over the 20th draft of his dissertation. Dead before he got a chance to outlive the 80 year olds taking up just about every decent tenured faculty position. And if Belial proved to be inconvenient… well, what was a little insurance fraud between friends?

“Fine.”

Belial leans over to press a kiss to Lucilius’ cheek- and Lucilius magnanimously doesn’t dump the dregs of his gin and tonic on his newly minted fiancé. 

* * *

The wedding is a civil ceremony. A quick signing of documents in front of a glassy eyed civil servant. One of Belial’s friends- a goth who never seemed to speak (a trait Lucilius wished his fiancé shared)- had apparently gotten ordained via a satanist online course during Belial’s impromptu stag party. Lucilius doesn’t want to think particularly hard about it. 

And so- they are $50 lighter and one document heavier. 

“I’ll be leaving you in charge of filing the returns,” Lucilius says to his newly minted husband. 

Belial slings an arm over his shoulder. “Sounds great, babe.”

Lucilius lets out a withering sigh, but doesn’t shrug Belial off just yet. 

“You know, it’s not too late to let the family know. We could scam them out of some nice wedding gifts.”

Lucilius’ look absolutely dripped acid.

“Not even Lucifer? Don’t you two still text?”

“If Lucifer knows, Lucio will find out. No present could be worth dealing with that.” And while Bahamut having a conniption fit about Lucilius’ choice of venue and spouse would be satisfying- Lucio being absolutely dotty over Lucilius “finding true love” or “learning to care about others” would turn any smug satisfaction to ash in Lucilius’ mouth. 

“It’s not like we need a $500 rice cooker anyways,” Belial uses his free arm to wriggle into his own leather jacket pocket for something- a black velvet box, “Figured I’d get us a little something for the christmas cards.” He pops the box open with a smooth flick of the fingers, revealing two understated silver bands. 

Lucilius shuts the case. 

Belial nods his head, “Alright then.” He flips the case open and slips both bands onto his finger. 

* * *

Belial tends to spend evenings at Lucilius’ flat- and has a habit of showing up a little early after the monthly department meetings on the third Tuesday of every month. 

Lucilius’ legs are draped over his, there’s two bottles of wine on the table, and Lucilius has spoken more than he has to anyone in about 3 months. 

“I go to approve the meeting minutes to get us out of that complete 3 hour should’ve-been-an-email affair and Beelzebub-”

“That bastard,” Belial adds for effect. 

“He said to my face ‘Bahamut, you can’t approve the meeting minutes because at the last meeting, you had left 10 minutes early’- to check on the coomassie stain, mind you- and that we’d have to wait until next month’s meeting to settle the whole thing. And he ended it with a charming little ‘I truly hope you’ll be able to attend the whole thing’.”

“No wonder he left a cushy industry job to make himself cozy as the department head.”

Lucilius snorts into his glass of wine. “Cagliostro from the lab next door swears she caught him counting ceiling tiles a week before he announced the department reorganization efforts that netted him the largest office in the building.”

“You sure I can’t break into the building, raid the floor's fridge, and put laxatives in his food?”

“Bold of you to assume he eats leftovers with the rest of us mere mortals.”

“How about this? I write him a new CV and send it off to a bunch of places. Best case scenario, he gets rejected a bunch and it hurts his ego. Worst case scenario, he gets hired and he is no longer in your hair.”

“Intriguing.”

* * *

Lucilius has the divorce paperwork all filled out, all put together and ready since two days before his “wedding”- aside from the final signatures and the stamp of approval from the notary. He’d just need a lawyer to look it over and send it to Belial and then- 

Lucifer is waiting for him at the coffee shop across the street. 

They exchange pleasantries- father is as overbearing as ever, Lucio is crowing about his startup’s newest way to spend more than a few thousand dollars on what Lucilius has been re-using for the last 6 months on a shoestring budget, and Lucifer, blessed Lucifer, has found himself a pleasant study group. 

Lucifer is listing off their names, when Lucilius finally speaks. 

“I got married.”

Lucifer is quiet for a moment- “Is it-?”

“Belial from Thanksgiving, yes. It was a private affair, just the two of us.”

Lucifer relaxes at that. “That suits you.” 

There’s a pause. 

“Does it…?”

“I can’t imagine myself with one of those galas Father and Lucio excel at. I don’t suppose you can either. A private matter with someone you trust sounds ideal for you.”

It seems funny, hearing their little tax scheme explained like that. 

“After that Thanksgiving, you’re really fine with it?”

Lucifer nods. “After you stopped speaking with Father, I realized- I hadn’t seen you smile like that in a very long time.”

Leave it to Lucifer to look for the silver lining in Lucilius orchestrating a family breakup in the worst possible way. 

“I truly hope he makes you happy, Lucilius.”

It must be the coffee warming its way from the center of his chest and spreading through his entire body. 

* * *

It’s 3AM a week before his defense, there’s a $500 rice cooker by the door, and Lucilius is on the 2nd explanation of his dissertation to Belial. 

“This novel piece of the signalling pathway could potentially- Nevermind.”

“What? Don’t stop there! It was just getting good.”

Lucilius ignores the prompting to cross the room and climb up onto the couch- and, consequently, Belial’s lap. He slips one of the rings off Belial’s fingers. Belial sits up straight- Lucilius slips the ring onto a chain and loops the chain around his own neck. 

“It would get caught on my gloves. And I’d hate to ruin the finish with hand sanitizer.”

“Never did sign those divorce papers, did you? The Drs. Bahamut sounds pretty sexy, if you ask me.”

Lucilius digs his knee into Belial’s side.


End file.
